


One Last Time

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-17
Updated: 2006-03-17
Packaged: 2019-02-02 02:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12717900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel goes to Jack's house at night after their break-up and finds something unexpected.





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

It's been more than an hour since I've decided to come here to see you one last time. Yet, I cannot bring myself to get out of the car and enter your house, which used to be home to me until last week. 

Should I knock or use the key you once gave to me? I didn't want to give it back to you cause then it would have made our separation final. This way I could always tell myself that we just had a fight and everything will be fine. 

Just exactly what has happened last Friday? I keep replaying that evening in my mind and still it doesn't make any sense to me. What did I miss? 

You've been behaving a little weird but I thought it was nothing. Thought that if I let you alone for a while you'd be fine. I was so wrong. I should have known that you... 

All those things you said to me that night. That I'm a reliability to the team, that I always got you in trouble, endangered your lives and that... 

No, I don't want to recall all that. How could you...? You know that I can't handle verbal abuse, don't you? Of course, you do and that is exactly why you did it. When you told me to get out of your life I thought I was going to die. 

As your eyes turned into chips of ice I felt something inside me break. So I left, couldn't stand the look of you at that moment. Got home on auto-pilot and it's a wonder that I didn't end up against the next tree. 

My apartment was so huge and empty and cold. I just curled up on my couch and stayed there the whole weekend waiting for a call from you, a call that never came. It hurt so badly and I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I was beyond tears. 

Now I'm sitting here in my car watching your house, wanting to go in and tell you how much I love you but not daring to. Oh, gods, how pathetic is that? 

Maybe I should just let it go and drive home before I humiliate myself even more. No, I need to see you one last time. For once in my life I felt overwhelming happiness. I thought we'd share the rest of our lives together... 

The light in your bedroom went out. I'll wait a moment longer to make sure you've really fallen asleep. I just want to take one last look at you, my lover. One last time I want to feel the warmth in my chest whenever I'm near you. 

Tomorrow I'll be gone. Have already typed my resignation and posted it. Should be on George's desk by tomorrow. Then you'll be rid of me. I hope that makes you happy. 

I never was sure of that, you know? Were you happy with me, did you love me? I said the three words to you but not once have they passed your lips. Have I just been a pass time for you? Something to play with until you got bored? 

I speak more than twenty languages but I never learned the proper language to communicate with you. You have always been a mystery to me. Others think you're plain and simple but that's just what you want them to think. I know that compared to understanding you, reading cuneiform is a child's play. 

It's time I gathered my wits and do what I came here for. I enter your house without turning the lights on. I don't need to. I could find my way around if I were blind. Quietly I climb upstairs avoiding the third step which always creaks. 

Walking down to your bedroom door I try to calm my breathing. My hands are sweaty and my pulse is beating rapidly. What if I wake you up? 

The door is slightly ajar and I peek inside. There on the bed illuminated by the light of the moon you sleep. The moonbeams are playing across your features and caressing your silvery hair. How I wish I were moonlight so I could touch you and feel the warmth of your skin. 

I cannot resist and slip inside. Moving around to the other side of your bed I carefully sit down beside your sleeping form. I love doing this. Many nights I used to stay awake and just watched you sleep. 

The way your long eyelashes fluttered when you were dreaming, the small smile that played around your lips, the way you hugged your pillow... All those little things I memorised and kept them in a small chamber in my heart. 

My hand reaches out on its own and hovers only inches above your hair wanting desperately to take those inches and touch you. I watch as it starts shaking and I pull it back. 

Oh, Jack, how am I supposed to leave you? You are my other half; you complete me in a way nobody else can. I wish I could make you see how much you mean to me, how unbelievably happy you make me, how much I need you. Too late now... 

Getting up from your bed I take one last glance at you. Goodbye Jack, my love. I wish you all the best in the world. May you one day find the same happiness I found in you. I love you and I'll never stop loving you till the day I die. 

Before I leave I will take one last look at everything in your house, my home. Your living room has always been my favourite place to be. The soft cushioned couch, the big windows that let so much light in and the view of your blooming garden have always filled me with an unknown sense of peace. 

I will sit down for just a little moment. There's a picture of you and me on the mantelpiece. You probably forgot to put it away. Wait, something placed in front of it. I raise and walk over to see what it is. 

It's a plain white envelope... with my name on it. What does that mean? I open it and pull out the sheet of paper. It is a letter from you. I switch on the small table light and start reading. 

I'm standing in the bedroom again, the letter in my hand. You haven't moved since I've left you just a moment ago. I call out your name. 

"Jack?” 

Please... 

"Jack?” I call a little louder and you stir. Relieved I rush over to your bed and kneel down beside it. You're blinking sleepily at me and a soft smile plays around the corner of your lips as you recognise me. 

"Hey, Danny,” you whisper as reach out for me to brush your hand through my hair and I close my eyes relishing the feeling of your warm hand that moves over my head. 

I reach up to take your hand, wanting to interlace our fingers but there's nothing. I open my eyes again. No, please... 

You haven't moved or opened your eyes or touched me. You're still lying there, your eyes closed, your body completely still, too still. I reach out to shake you awake. Your skin is still warm... 

My vision blurs, as you remain motionless. Once again I call your name and shake you harder begging you to open your eyes... Oh God, don't do this to me. This can't be true. It can't. 

I crawl into your bed and pull you into my arms holding you tightly, whispering to you, trying to will you back to life. Hot tears are stinging my eyes. They spill over and burn their trace down my face to finally drop into your hair where they sparkle in the moonlight, mocking me. 

How many nights have we spent like this? You, lying in my arms while I whispered sweet nothings into your ear that used to put that beautiful smile onto your face. 

You would pull me close and softly touch your lips to mine. I would curl my hand around your neck and play with your hair while trying to tell you without words how much I love you. 

Did you know that the hair at the nape of your neck feels like silk? I always wanted to tell you that but somehow I never found the right moment to do so. I'm telling you now. Can you hear me, Jack? 

I loved the way you kissed me. The feeling of your lips covering mine, your tongue gliding sensuously around my tongue, your hands that moved down my body leaving a burning trail on my skin... 

Your head lies heavily on my chest and I kiss your temple. Your skin is cooler now and I pull up the blanket to warm you. Is that ok? Are you comfortable? Jack, please, you have to tell me what to do cause I really don't know. 

As I shift to get a bit closer to you something rustles. It's the letter. I hadn't finished reading it. Have run to you after the third sentence. Maybe now is the time to read the rest of it. 

Oh, Jack, I can't believe what I've just read... How could you have been so wrong? How could I have been so wrong? Damn you, Jack O'Neill, why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you give us a chance to make it right? 

Suddenly an idea forms in my mind. Of course, that's the only way left for me. Lie still, my lover, I will be right back. 

Now, where was it? 

Ha, found it. 

I slip back into bed and take you into my arms again. This is easy. You've told me how to use this properly. It'll leave a mess on the sheets. 

Doesn't matter. 

Nothing matters anymore. 

Wait, let me look at you one last time. 

I love you, Jack. 

See you on the other side.


End file.
